I'm worth more than $10

This past week I have been on the classifieds track. I'm currently trying to decide if I want a full time "real job," (making my dream of being famous an even distant fantasy) or if I want to continue to play around with part-time gigs, (being broke and fashionably unhappy but on the upside have the flexibility of auditioning for that big role, whenever it shall come.)
Am I being unreal?? This weeks escapades are making me wonder?

The first interview was working for a Pilates Shop. Can you say PERFECT!! It was a small family owned business that was looking for someone to assist with new client relationship management, booking, and other miscellaneous type things that might come up. They even wanted me to share some marketing ideas to help grow the business. "TOTAL CREATIVE CONTROL"...he explained.
And that's not even the best part. The hours were..Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Sunday 12:30-7:00. F-L-E-X-I-B-I-L-I-T-Y!!!
Immediately he told me he loved me and wanted to hire me. I was thrilled!! I thought this can't be real. And then I realized it was not!!
He told me that my compensation would be work in exchange for classes.
The man was so enthused when he explained how my $10 an hour wage would go into a “little pot”. And when that "little pot" filled to the right amount I could get a reduced rate Pilates or Yoga class.
WOOOOOOW!!!! I basically wasted an hour of my time. After I told him that I was not in the financial position to do volunteer work I kindly escorted myself out.

I moved on sad and confused, but was relieved to hear a new voicemail confirming a Friday 10 am interview.
The position was working for a retailer, which shall remain nameless, as an HR Coordinator Assistant... Something I could definitely see myself doing. Big business always equates big $$ .
My potential future employer explained the job would not include monotonous computer work or data entry activities. He said the job would be hands on and allow me to expose my creative bones.
It was an instant click. I could envision working for him as he could envision me being a part of his team. Jackpot!!
I could see my wardrobe no longer starving for freshness. I saw myself picking up those Frye ankle boots and walking down the street looking super fly!
I was psyched.
I almost think he saw my thoughts... he may have been an onlooker on the street impressed with my new threads,
because it was then that he dropped the bomb.
"Did they discuss salary with you?"
My current visions of me strolling through the east village on a sunny but cool Saturday afternoon in my hot new fall ensemble slowly drifted into another vision, a vision of reality.
"What," I replied. "No I'm not sure of the salary, but the possible opportunity trumps the money.
I was such a liar!!
"Great. We were looking at around 15-20 hours a week at about $10/hr." he said so-matter-of-factly.
I wanted to cry and scream...
“Are you fucking kidding me!! I know people who answer phones and get paid more than that. Hell the Container Store pays almost double that. How in the hell is someone who has a degree going to work for $10 an hour.”

I'm basically extremely disappointed and discouraged.
I'm sick of people liking me soooo much, but wanting to pay me crap. Maybe they like me because I am the only one crazy enough to spend time at an interview without asking the basic questions of compensation.
I feel I should be paid a lot more than my past offerings and I refuse to accept jobs and situations that do not see my worth.

Damn....Why didn't I believe them???

Why was it when I was .....
Sleeping in late, playing games with neighborhood friends, hiding from the seekers in hide and seek, eating lunch prepared by mom, taking a nap after my afternoon lunch, yelling about who was cheating in dodge ball, coloring strawberry shortcake with my favorite red and pink crayon, learning addition facts like 2+2, writing in my diary about how jennifer b was my new BFF and how nasty bryan b was for wanting to kiss me on the lips, scarfing down pizza at a sleepover, taking field trips to Washington D.C, munching on Halloween candy one week after Halloween, relaxing during summer;fall;thanksgiving;christmas;spring; or any other break, smiling about the 15 bucks mommy gave me to buy a new something, throwing snowballs on a cancelled school snow day, and blowing out candles at my USA EAST Roller-Skating party
all I could think of was how badly I wanted to be an adult?

Why did I trade all that in for....
Waking up at 6a.m. (no let's be honest, I should wake up this early but you all know me to well), being annoyed with my pseudo dj neighbors playing house music all into the morning, hiding from credit card collectors at the beginning of the month, eating lunch at my desk(not prepared by my mother), daydreaming about taking an afternoon nap..(hell I would skip lunch for a two hour nap break), yelling about how my coworker seems to always be in MY business, doodling my name (on a paper that I should be using for notes) at a mandatory Monday meeting, learning that adults are even pettier than kids, writing in my journal about how I am going to pay my bills if I quit my job that I HATE SO MUCH; build a relationship with my finances mother who is truly not a fan; or convenience my male friend to tell his conservative parents that he's gay, or knowing if I eat one piece of pizza it will go straight to my hips, leaving Washington D.C. at 3a.m. on a $20 China Town Bus with no heat, AC, or working restroom (no more quick flights when you quit your job ladies and gents) , paying a $578 bill to the dentist for my three cavity fillings (and I'm still eating candy, right now actually), begging my boss to let me have the Friday after Thanksgiving off to visit with family, persuading my mother that those black $485 Chloe flats are a necessity for Fall, trudging to work through 12 inches of grey, brown, black New York City snow,
or completely freaking out about my b-day coming which is an annual reminder of how much being an adult really BLOWS.

Why didn't I believe adults when they said being a grown up was hard work, it looked so easy.
If I would have know I would have cherished those naive days so much more!!!

Almost fell for "The Hype"

So everyone has been harassing me about why I'm not a member of common online social networks such as Facebook, My Space,
or any other college or post college website.
I always thought they were silly and overrated. I prided myself in not believing
"The Hype"
of generation X and Y digital networking services. When friends would ask for my Hi-5, Facebook, or My Space name,
my reply was "don't have one."
I inevitably would receive the look of puzzlement and bewilderment.
How could I not want to involve myself with "poking"potential "friends"and people around me?
(Poking..is a phrase that I learned the meaning of after my roommate yelled at me for poking someone of the same sex.)
You're just being difficult they would say. They thought that I must not be aware that I may be the only person that was not an affiliate of this hot new online organization.
Friends would try to solicit me to their fav site to allow me to see what they believed so much in. Fellow friends that I like to call "the believers" would explain how great it was to reconnect with people you hadn't seen since high school.
(Here's one to mull over... if they were really a friend why am I not in touch today?
Is the fun just getting an update, then losing touch, and starting the whole process all over again? What about when I lose touch after I get married,have kids, or become fabulous.
Let's face it, if I'm not in touch then there is a reason.)
Also "the believers" would express the great way to network with people in my city. Are we talking business network or personal relationship??? Because to me this sounds like a plea for a friend of the opposite sex.
If I was trying to make a business contact, I would not want him/her viewing photos of my drunken weekend moments with friends.
Let's be realistic who is really using this tool for the purpose of business networking??
The advertisements were laid on so thick that I must admit I was almost convinced.
And after countless friends, family, and associates, gave me their login name and password to try it out, I surrender. I decided to do my own research with the tools in which I was provided.
I found myself flipping from one user to another searching for what friends one member had in common with another.
You can lose yourself.
BUT, I had to stop once I found I was clicking from one picture to another and some people I didn't know.
I suddenly thought.. What the hell am I doing?? Was I about to fall for "THE HYPE."
To spend my valuable time looking at pictures of people I knew or didn't know,
specifics don't matter,
was a waste.
To me it was a sign of boredom, nosiness, and a bit narcissistic.
I could be spending time doing things that will actually make a difference in my life or positively affecting the life of someone else.
I love all friends affiliated with any of these online organizations.
I don't think any less of you... I respect you for everything else in your life.
I may never join My Space, Facebook, or whatever new to come, but the good thing is I'm finally online!!!
I can't promise mind-blowing pictures of me or any friends that you may want to poke after seeing them in a photo.
All I can promise is a good read, which is up for speculation.